The glittering short videos on TikTok, the picturesque old-world European landscapes, and the sun-drenched suburban homes in the United States featured on Instagram have inadvertently woven an idealized picture of life abroad. The “dream of a better life” in a developed country carries an almost irresistible allure. Many people assume that simply setting foot in a foreign land will automatically turn the page to a new chapter of life ,one filled with world-class social welfare, clean air, and four-figure incomes.
The reality, however, is that social media is merely a carefully curated filter. The glamour is put on display, while the darker corners, lonely tears, and pressures of survival remain hidden behind the scenes. Crossing the line from being a tourist to becoming a genuine resident in a foreign country is a profound upheaval in both one’s psychological well-being and livelihood, and the sacrifices involved can sometimes far exceed what a person initially imagines.
To assess what life abroad is really like, the first obstacle that pours cold water on rose-tinted expectations is the harsh “financial survival battle.” Videos showcasing salaries worth thousands of dollars often deliberately gloss over progressive tax systems and the high cost of living in developed countries.
According to statistics published by the Federal Statistical Office of Germany, the proportion of people facing excessive housing-cost burdens in major European cities has remained at alarming levels, particularly among immigrants, for whom rent and heating expenses can consume as much as 40% to 50% of their net income. The situation is hardly more promising in the United States or Canada, where soaring rents and the rising cost of basic necessities can turn minimum-wage jobs into a new poverty trap. Immigrants not only have to work relentlessly to cover their monthly bills but also live with the fear of losing their jobs, because in these countries, being out of work can mean losing access to health insurance and social security benefits.
Beyond the pressure of making ends meet, the “psychological walls” of loneliness and identity crisis can become persistent struggles that no social media filter can conceal. Life in Western countries often operates around a strong sense of individualism, vastly different from Vietnam’s close-knit neighborhoods, communal traditions, and strong family connections.
Research on the mental health of immigrants published in international medical journals indicates that more than 30% of migrants experience symptoms of depression or anxiety during their first two years of settlement, largely as a result of culture shock and a lack of social support networks. Those freezing winter afternoons when the workday ends at 4 p.m. and darkness has already fallen, followed by returning to a rented apartment and facing four walls with no relatives or close friends to confide in, can be the moments when the harsh reality shatters the glamorous dreams portrayed online. Over time, this loneliness can accumulate into an invisible burden, leaving many people, despite having material comfort, feeling like outsiders on the margins of society, permanent guests who never truly belong.
Perhaps the greatest paradox facing highly skilled workers abroad is “brain waste” and the professional glass ceiling. On social media, success stories of a handful of outstanding individuals are often prominently showcased. Real-world data, however, paints a far bleaker picture. An analysis by the Migration Policy Institute (MPI) indicates that more than two million college-educated immigrants in the United States are working in low-skilled jobs below their level of qualification, a phenomenon commonly referred to as “brain waste.” The underlying reasons include language barriers, strict requirements for recognizing foreign qualifications, and implicit biases within local hiring cultures. An engineer, doctor, or economics graduate who held a respected position in Vietnam may find themselves starting from scratch abroad, taking on manual or service jobs such as working as a kitchen assistant, cleaner, or nail technician simply to make ends meet. This decline in social status can inflict a deep wound on one’s self-esteem and is one factor that can push some immigrant marriages toward breaking point.
Yet completely dismissing the value of life abroad would be equally extreme and lacking in objectivity. Foreign countries are not paradise, but for individuals with a strong sense of independence, an open mind, and the ability to withstand pressure, living abroad can become an invaluable school of life. Transparent legal systems, cleaner natural environments, respect for personal privacy, and access to cutting-edge scientific and technological advances are undeniable advantages. Living abroad forces people to mature rapidly, abandoning the habit of relying on family and learning to take full responsibility for decisions ranging from repairing their homes and filing taxes to dealing with legal risks. The greatest intangible return of life abroad is not the amount of money accumulated in a bank account, but rather a broader worldview, a more tolerant attitude toward differences, and a resilient spirit forged through adversity.
